I've written here before about how to be a delightful fan. Athletes are under a lot of scrutiny because those who behave badly get a lot of press. In youth sports, parents and their children are under the same microscope for the same reason. For any youth athlete, an emphasis on sportsmanship is important and I am incredibly grateful to the coaches who have taught and modeled good sportsmanship to my kids throughout the years. There is a right way to both win and to lose. 

 

In the NFL there is a penalty for too much celebration. I understand that sometimes it gets to be too much. I am never in favor of taunting or belittling an opponent with celebration, of course. As well, there is a popular quote that is prevalent among athletes, even the young ones. It discourages too much enthusiasm and is known as the "Act like you've been there before." rule. I'm pretty sure my husband would ascribe to this theory. But, I was contemplating these ideas recently and this is what I thought. 

 

It's pretty profound, so get ready.

 

Those kinds of rules? They totally bum me out.

 

Friends, the world is heavy. We are reminded constantly of how jacked up and broken just about everything is. Every day we see something that can either scare or depress or confuse the fire out of us. And we all know that sports are unimportant matters when considering mass shootings and hurricanes and injustice. But I would contend that this is one of the many reasons why sports are so important to so many people in our country. They serve as a reminder that we can come together behind a team just because it's our team. We can take a few hours out of our day to enjoy sunshine and high fives and the joy of watching kids give their best for each other. It can actually be fun. Y'all do remember fun, right? 

 

While I am a huge supporter of sportsmanship and winning with class, I would suggest we parents be sure we don't take the joy out of competition for our kids by urging them to play it cool all the time. Working hard and accomplishing goals should be celebrated. There is a way to do so with pride and gratitude and encouragement that we don't want to let our kids miss. I am here for the lessons that losing teaches. But, I am also here for joy and celebration.

 

In fact, my very own Bible tells me that joy is a-okay.

 

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter; and your lips with shouting." - Job 8:21

 

"But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God. May they be happy and joyful." - Psalm 68:3

 

Those verses were forefront in my mind this summer. You see, there was a little boy this summer who was playing in his very last season of Little League. All of his friends - every last one - had hit a home run at some point in his time in Little League, but that accomplishment had eluded him. His friends, his mama, his coach - they all knew he wanted to hit one. So badly. And each and every one of them knew that this was in no way a tragedy in the big scheme of life or even in baseball itself. He was reminded time and time again that hitting home runs should not ever be the sole aim of a player. 

 

And the little boy understood that. He understood down deep that he should contribute to the game the best he could. He really did. But he was still a little boy and I'm betting that even when he stopped mentioning it, he still wanted it. Because after all, hitting a home run sure did look like a lot fun and furthermore, it could sure help a team out. 

 

As that final season moved on, it seemed the home run wouldn't come. And he would have been okay with that. In the end, as the season's end came closer and closer, he really just wanted his team to win.

 

So it was that the little boy and his team found themselves with their backs against the wall in a very tight game against a very worthy opponent. It was a win or go home situation and the end of Little League was looming ever closer. Everything now had to be about doing the best to help the team win. When he came up to the plate, his mama was simply hoping that he'd get on base. Some how. Some way. A walk would be fine. Hit by a pitch? Fine. Just a grazing of the sleeve. Come on, how badly could it hurt? 

 

This is a hypothetical mom of course. ;-)

 

The little boy fouled off the first pitch and on the second sent the ball sailing into the outfield. His mama didn't believe it had gone out until she saw the centerfielder turn his back and look over the fence.

 

 

The little boy had been told before to act like he'd been there. He'd heard that line. And as he rounded the bases, he didn't lift his arms in victory. He didn't jump up and down. 

 

 

But his teammates went ballistic. His buddy who was ahead of him on 1st base pumped his fists and opened his arms wide as he came around to home base. The kids in the dugout ran like a band of maniacs to home plate to greet their runners. Some kids jumped so high you would have thought they were walking on air. Parents in the stands jumped and hugged and screamed like idiots. And in a show of grace the mama would never forget a mom from the other team came over and hugged her neck with the sweetest gesture of congratulations and a smile so genuine she could cry just thinking about it today.

 

 

 

 

In the moment his mama couldn't really see the little boy's face. She didn't know if he was playing it cool. Until the photos showed up later. 

 

 

 

 

 

That little boy's face looked as if he had just been told the funniest joke he had ever heard. The smile was so wide it could have cracked his cheeks. And therein lies the lesson for all of us.

 

When joy presents itself, take it. Take it with both hands. Grab on tight and hold it close. Catch some air and put your hands on your head in wonder. Smile and jump and hug. Dawg pile away. Tackle your buddy. Throw a cooler of Gatorade on your coach.

 

In a world of darkness and bad news, might we give ourselves permission to NOT be the coolest guy in the room? 

 

Wherever joy is. Whenever you may find it. Take it. Relish it. Thank God for it. Act like you've been there before? No, thank you. You've no idea when or if it will come again. 

 

 

PS I know you don't have to be Nancy Drew to know that that little boy is my kid. And that mama is me. I took shameless joy in that moment and I appreciate your indulging me by re-living it here. I will forever be grateful for that joy and even more for my son's gracious teammates and friends that shared it with us. A special shout out to that little boy's aunt who always has her camera at the ready to capture joy.

 

Jennifer P. Skinner

http://viewfrombehindhomeplate.blogspot.com/