For at least 8-10 of the 18 years that I've been a mom, I've spent Mother's Day in the bleachers at a baseball field. Most of my best friends have done the same and to be honest, there's really no place we'd rather be. If you've made your way here to this site today, I'm guessing you can relate.  Let's see.

 

Have you ever . . . 

 

1) . . .noticed that flip-flop tan line and then realized that was actually a mix of baseball field dirt and sunscreen permanently staining your recently pedicured feet?

 

2) . . .decided to splurge on the large Diet Coke before the game because it was a Thursday and you remember that the Port-A-Potty is always cleaned on Thursdays?

 

3) . . .realized that the Port-A-Potty people didn't show and started whimpering on your way to use it, breaking into a full-out tantrum when you had to go in?

 

4) . . .received your Pottery Barn Bed and Bath catalog and instead of picturing your own bathroom remodel, imagined those monogrammed towels and accessories in the Port-A-Potty at your local baseball field?

 

5) . . .had a number of 40ish year old men, who are not your husband, walk through your laundry room to get to the garage to get a beer to drink during the Little League Board Meeting while your bra (your very small sized bra) was hanging to dry?

 

6) . . .not been able to pass off said bra as your pre-teen daughter's because YOU DON'T HAVE A DAUGHTER?!

 

7) . . .yelled at your son, "Get your head in the game!" after he made an error and then realized that it wasn't your son that made that error?  Yikes.

 

8) . . . thought your husband's head was going to come right off his body when your son actually did make an error? 

 

9) . . .prayed to God something like this:  "I know, dear Lord, that there are tsunamis, earthquakes and starving children, but if it is Your will, could you please, oh please, oh please, could You just get my boy on first base safely in any way that You possibly can?  And could You please, oh please, oh please keep my husband's head from exploding if he doesn't happen to get there safely?  Thanks much.  Amen."

 

10) . . . stomped over to that obnoxious  other team's side to give that mom a piece of your mind, then in this order:  

 

a)  realized that she was slightly scarier than Robert DeNiro in Cape Fear with as many tattoos.

b)  glanced down to make sure your running shoes were tied tight.

c)  real-quick-like, muttered something under your breath. 

d)  hustled your 5 foot 2 inch self back to the bleachers safely next to the biggest dad on your team.

 

11) . . . felt pretty tired of waiting for the game to start, so took it upon yourself to yell, "Balls in, comin' down" from your fancy schmancy Costco chair with umbrella, bottle opener, foot rest and cooler?

 

12) . . .found that your younger children think that the batting cage is their own personal playroom during game time?

 

13) . . .wished you could find a padlock for that batting cage?  

 

14) . . .channeled your inner Martha Stewart and created a "Ladies Fit tee" out of that boxy spirit wear tshirt with some craft scissors and ribbon?

 

If so, then you are my people and I wish you a blessed Mother's Day while you're watching your kid play. If you're not at the ball field, I'm just going to assume you got the blessing of a rain out which, let's be honest, can be a bit of a burden because what in the world do people like you and me do for an entire afternoon when they're not at a baseball field?

 

Maybe you can find your way to a nice restaurant? Maybe one that doesn't have 321 tvs or buffalo wings and cheese fries as the signature dish? 

 

Listen, sister. Do it. Because let's face it, before you know it you're going to be sitting in the parking lot during extra innings while your toddler takes his afternoon nap in the car, drinking a warm Gatorade that you found in your son's bat bag and chomping on a bag of Twizzlers you bought at the Snack Shack.  

 

Happy Mother's Day, Baseball Moms!!!

 

 

Jennifer P. Skinner

http://www.viewfrombehindhomeplate.blogspot.com/