You’re killing me, Smalls!

 

Can you guess how many times this phrase has been used in my house?

 

You're off by about 500.

 

In my tenure as a baseball mom I’ve found that players love to give each other nicknames. As there are three players under my roof, it was inevitable that the youngest would earn a few or twenty nicknames from his older brothers. The one that stuck is “Smalls” from the movie The Sandlot. As summer winds down and we find ourselves spending an inordinate amount of quality time together, even his very own mother might have yelled out, "YOU'RE KILLING ME, SMALLS!" more than a few times.

 

It occurs to me that there might be some fellow mamas out there who are gripping tightly to their last nerve as the summer comes to a close. Maybe no one wants to go to the pool anymore. Maybe no one wants to read a book or play a board game or work on their math facts. Maybe it rained all day long yesterday and all of the "smalls" started arguing and everyone was starving and basketballs started bouncing and bats started swinging in the house and maybe you stood around with absolutely no control of your surroundings.

 

Listen, friends. The Lord gives us many spiritual gifts. Some days my spiritual gift allotment for patient and creative parenting seems incredibly low. But then I think that the fact that our family can recite the lines to practically every baseball movie ever made makes me an expert in the baseball movie genre. I’ll go a step further and venture that perhaps this is a gift given to me by the Lord. And maybe He’s saying, "Just push that button on the DVD player or fire up the Netflix and SHUT.THIS.MADNESS.DOWN, lady. Then go forth and share the good news with my people."

 

You feelin' me, mamas?  Ok, then. I aim to please. Here are some of our favorite baseball movies to keep your little players occupied in these last lazy, crazy days of summer.

 

 

THE SANDLOT

 

 

In the 1960s, a shy kid named Scott Smalls moves into a new neighborhood and joins a gang of boys spending their summer playing ball in The Sandlot. This movie has some of the best 10-12 year old boy smack talk ever uttered in the history of the world including, "If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards." Just a friendly warning here. Be sure to tell your kids that even though mommy laughed really hard, she will not laugh if the teacher calls with the news that little Johnny called little Billy a pee-drinking crap-face on the playground.

 

MICKEY

Here's how IMDb.com describes it:  A widowed lawyer wanted by the IRS assumes a new identity and signs his now-too-old son up for one more year of Little League. However, this may have been a mistake, as his son's dominance captures the media's attention as his team careens toward the Little League World Series. This is what you need to know. It was written by John Grisham and stars the absolutely charming and adorable Harry Connick, Jr. We have watched this movie a bazillion times. We love it, especially after spending so much time every summer watching the Little League World Series.  And, did I mention Harry Connick Jr.?

 

EVERYONE'S HERO

 

My favorite for kids of all ages. An adorable story of a boy in the 20s whose father is a janitor at Yankee stadium. When Babe Ruth's lucky bat goes missing, the father is blamed, but the boy figures out who the real thief is and goes across the country with a talking baseball named Screwy to clear his dad's name and to help the Babe get his swing back.  Bonus: The featured song, The Best, about wanting to play catch with your dad makes me sob.

 

 

LITTLE BIG LEAGUE

 

 

A 12 year old boy becomes the owner of the Minnesota Twins when his grandfather dies and leaves the team to him. Best part: The trick play the boy teaches the major leaguers is hilarious. Very cute kid playing the main character and very cute movie.

 

ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD

 

A boy living in foster care prays to have a permanent family and for the California Angels to win the championship. Heavenly and very funny angels come down to help both the team and the boy. 

 

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

 

A 12 year old boy breaks his arm playing baseball and when it heals he suddenly can throw like a Major League pitcher and plays for the Chicago Cubs.

 

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In my opinion, this is the most important baseball movie and not just for baseball fans. This, of course, is the story of Jackie Robinson. Wonderful, exciting, heartbreaking, and a crucial must-see. Note: If you see it with your son at the theater, try not to cry too much or to whisper/yell out too loud, "Come on, Jackie, take the base. Take the base, Jackie", like you are actually at the baseball game. Because your son will look at you like you are so embarrassing and whisper, "Mom, it's Jackie Robinson.  Everyone knows he's going to steal the base. Stop."

 

 

ALL OF THE KEVIN COSTNER BASEBALL MOVIES 

Bull Durham, Field of Dreams and For the Love of the Game

 

 

All of these are perhaps not kid appropriate and yet, how can they not be mentioned on the list? I know it is so unhip and totally middle aged-womanish to have a crush on Kevin Costner, but I can't help it. My favorite line is from For the Love of the Game. When Kevin Costner's character mangles his pitching hand in a chainsaw accident, his girlfriend is having trouble getting any of the ER doctors to attend to him. She stands in the middle of the ER in her blood-splattered pjs and screams, "Is this not America? Is BASEBALL not America's favorite pastime?!"

Those are just some of our favorites. Here's a list of more. Not all of these are appropriate for all ages. 

(I'm looking at you, Bad News Bears.) 

The Rookie

Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch

Major League

The Natural

Summer Catch

The Final Season

A League of Their Own

Chasing 3000 

Fever Pitch

Moneyball

Eight Men Out

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Trouble with the Curve 

 

I hope this list might help all of you mamas out there keep your sanity in these last days of summer break. I know exactly how it will go down around here. I'll plan a trip to the library to get us in back-to-school mode and because I love reading even more than I love baseball movies. We'll walk into the lobby of our beautiful, spacious library and I will rest in the knowledge that I am a fabulous mom teaching her kids the benefits of literature of all genres. Soon enough, though, at least one of my kids will act like I have just shoved him into the middle of a POW Camp in World War II. And then you will hear my voice whisper/yelling, "YOU'RE KILLING ME, SMALLS!" and we'll head back home and renew that Netflix subscription.

 

Happy End of Summer, Baseball Fans!!

 

Jennifer P. Skinner

http://viewfrombehindhomeplate.blogspot.com/